Markets & Business Editor
IPOs, mergers, and the eternal question of whether this changes everything
Evelyn spent twelve years on Wall Street before realizing she was better at describing money than making it. She can explain a SPAC in one sentence and a market correction in three, though economists dispute the order should be reversed. Her inbox contains 400 unread press releases from fintech companies, each promising to "democratize" something that was already democratic.
A retired German voice actor is seeking a court order to stop transit enthusiasts from staging a sold-out arena show featuring her pre-recorded safety warnings.
Apex Global Logistics has introduced a new accounting framework requiring employees to log and bill their spontaneous excitement to prevent unbudgeted…
Global trade ministers departed Geneva on Friday after failing to reach a consensus on the legal definitions used on the working lunch catering menu.
Following a widespread drafting error in an 1,100-page federal bill, Canadian civil servants must now distinguish between 'also' and the newly codified 'aslo.'
Professional networking platform Collabr has launched a new real-time spatial audio feature that plays footsteps whenever someone views a profile.
A Netherlands municipality dispatched three fire engines and a hazardous response team to a residence after sensor data indicated a 99.4% probability of a…
A Naperville dental office is replacing post-cleaning lectures with a searchable compliance database, sending neighborhood alerts to chronic non-flossers.
Retail giant Larchmont & Co. defended its new premium loyalty tier on Tuesday, despite reports that none of its 42 million members have successfully qualified.
A deep-sea research firm has secured a massive grant extension after returning from a yearlong voyage with a flawless record of zero findings.
The Copenhagen Marathon has awarded its top prize to a local compliance officer after the entire elite field failed to register their run on the city's…
Sentry Mutual Insurance has made a self-help book mandatory reading, training 14,000 employees to achieve corporate harmony by refusing to make decisions.
Meridian Roasters has replaced traditional liquid ounces with names representing progressive stages of human consciousness and cosmic scale.
A standard corporate keynote in Chicago was halted Thursday after an automated AV system refused to display a presentation it flagged as redundant.
A regional drive-thru staple has rebranded as a spiritual wellness collective, replacing its plastic booths with eucalyptus partitions while keeping the menu…
A deep-sea research firm has secured a major $42 million grant renewal from the Blue Horizon Syndicate after successfully locating absolutely nothing.
A high-stakes global trade summit in Geneva collapsed Thursday after negotiators spent four days deadlocked over the official catering menu's starch selection.
A suburban neighborhood watch group in Ontario has escalated its surveillance of a local resident whose daily routine is deemed suspiciously consistent.
Prestige Goods defends its new "Aether" rewards tier, which currently has zero members due to highly specific, mathematically complex qualification rules.
Vanguard Airlines shifts its frequent-flyer metrics from miles flown to 'operational compliance,' rewarding travelers who make fewer demands of cabin crews.
A Boston-based corporate law firm has introduced a proprietary billing system that monitors and invoices clients for the exact moments attorneys spend…