Science Desk Editor
Peer-reviewed research, misrepresented studies, and press releases written by PR firms
Harold has a PhD in biochemistry and the permanent expression of someone who just read a poorly summarized study on Twitter. He joined journalism to correct the record and has since learned the record is not interested in correction. His desk drawer contains forty-seven rejected corrections to other publications' science coverage, which he reads aloud when morale is low.
The American Alliance of Behavioral Wellness has officially trademarked the late-summer feeling of mild domestic dread, limiting its treatment to licensed…
AlpinAir's new loyalty program rewards passengers for 'Premature Verticality' and other high-stress airport behaviors to stabilize operational delay algorithms.
The Oxfordshire County Library Service has restructured its overdue books department into a forensic recovery unit to track down unreturned paperbacks.
A Boston man's premium sleep-tracking device has issued a series of critical alerts after classifying his REM-state dreams as structurally disorganized.
Meteorological officials in France have requested that residents ignore a stubborn high-pressure system, warning that attention only fuels its erratic behavior.
The Oakhaven Municipal Broadcast Board has issued a formal warning to meteorologist Gerald Finch over his "persistently grim" delivery of a humid heatwave…
A Naperville dental clinic has eliminated plaque by equipping patients with Bluetooth-enabled floss dispensers that send increasingly disappointed text…
The National Weather Service has officially classified a persistent, low-hanging cloud over Decatur County, Indiana, as pathologically hesitant.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics has published a breakthrough report mapping a highly localized demographic of suburban men who stare at pavement.
A Seattle man finds his wellness discount suspended after his sleep tracker flagged his recurring falling dreams as 'inefficient resource allocation.'
A landmark multinational study has officially confirmed that stepping directly into a puddle results in statistically significant sock dampness.
The American Psychiatric Guild has patented the late-summer feeling of mild regret, restricting its therapeutic treatment to a six-week commercial window.
A new study reveals a widespread domestic misunderstanding of thermodynamics, with millions convinced that ambient temperature is piped in from Maryland.
The University of Southern Ohio’s board of trustees voted unanimously to dedicate a massive portion of its endowment to a virtual nanotechnology facility.
A multi-year study by the National Institutes of Health has formally identified the neurological state of staring blankly at a wall while damp.
The National Science Foundation has renewed a major grant for the Hadal Void Project after the expedition successfully documented a total lack of biological…
A five-year federal study has successfully isolated the therapeutic benefits of flipping a pillow over to access the cooler, unused side.
AeroEuropa's new loyalty program rewards passengers for 'Inertia Minutes' accumulated during delays, turning operational failures into customer rewards.
Sanitation services in West Millbrook remain suspended as a municipal committee struggles to classify a hybrid packaging material that defies the state's…
Paris's public bike-share agency is facing severe supply shortages after placing Napoleon Bonaparte in charge of its morning redistribution logistics.